2 years ago today we found out I had a mass in my leg. Fast forward through $1,500,000 in total charges, over 1 year on disability, 128 days in-patient, 31 units of blood, and 9 surgeries and here I am.
The thing with cancer is that the “war” is never over. You just go from one “battle” to the next. Surgery. Chemo. Amputation. Infertility. Anxiety. The list goes on. You’re never truly past cancer.
It’s a good thing that we can’t go into the past and change things… I’d do it in a heart beat if I could. I want two legs. I want that time back. I want to have an ache or a pain and not wonder if it’s more.
Thankfully, Gods plan is perfect. Even when it’s not what we want. Even when it’s the exact opposite of what we want. You never know where you’re going to be two years from now so take the time that you have to enjoy what you have. It can all change and be taken away in a flash.
The Peg Leg Dad 
Thanks for your posts and for the reminder of how important it is to live in the moment and be THANKFUL for what you have!!! I am continuing to pray for you, Laramie and your daughter as you walk thru life with God beside you!
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The scanxiety has been one of the absolute worst experiences during my own battle with bone cancer. I also have a hemipelvectomy, and the anxiety I felt leading up to that surgery is pretty much how I feel about new scans during the weeks and days leading up to them. I’m literally an emotional and nervous wreck about what the results will be. Of course my family and friends try to keep me hopeful and I try to be, but that’s easier said than done. As you said, “the war is never over.”
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It’s nice to meet another hemipelvectomy amputee! I try to stay as busy as I can in the weeks leading up to my scans but that almost makes it worse. I just cram all that anxiety into a few days.
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Yes it is, we’re such a small group of people. My family and friends try to plan home projects around the time of my scans so that my mind can hopefully be more focused on that whether I’m painting walls or whatever I’m doing. Its like you said though, there are times when that almost makes it feel worse.
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